Sitting in the sun, soaking it up as this winter starts to fade, listening to an amazing band and just becoming indulged in my imagination. When my mind starts to race and the music becomes a live band singing to me and the many characters in my mind I find myself in a safe place. But is it really safe?
She came back to her second home, saw her amazing friends and then he walked past. So beautiful, so tall, those kissable lips and he walked over and said goodbye, not hello but goodbye. On the outside she smiled and scoffed at his casual goodbye but inside her heart went tense, did a double take, couldn’t decide whether to race or slow down. Clever girl being so calm and unreadable. Guess that is why she people can’t tell when she is drunk, great poker face. She finally learned how to keep the tears for when it was dark and only strangers had the possibility of seeing her.
He finally started seeing her again, the way things used to be before love got in the way, when laughing and sharing was fun and other people didn’t make a big difference. But then, silly girl, she started to like him again. Why? Who the hell knows but again who ever knows the real reasons to the way their emotions work? Silly girl. She takes care of him when he needs it and the gratitude comes in the form of being left alone, again. Why? Who knows? And do we think this silly girl will learn? No she won’t, because of the harsh reality that a part of her heart will always belong to him and her hands are left empty.
Everyone at one point is a silly girl (or guy) and we let our silly emotions get involved instead of letting our brain think up a way to avoid these situations. Your special friends will tell you how to do this, they will try act as your brain since you are lacking the ability but wow isn’t it just thrilling to take the risk? To take a chance? To push the boundaries a bit? We like to dangle over hot lava just to feel the heat even if it is just a brief moment. Let’s be honest, I love a little bit of fun, the danger, the chance of kicking up a bit of dust, creating a little storm. Besides how do you find the gold at the end of the rainbow without embracing a little thunder, lightning and rain first? Sometimes I wanna be the silly girl and let the clever girl deal with the mess after.
Embrace yourself, indulge in your thoughts, your inner self, your Angels and Demons and fight it out to find the best part of yourself. Love life