For me the greatest feeling is just being free, free spirited, free of worry and care, free or rules and restrictions but as you all know one can never live like that, not 100% unless you lived alone. There is always someone or something or some stupid made up rule or restriction that will prevent you from enjoying something.
You think you leave highschool and all the childish and judgemental eyes behind, uuuh wrong. The reason judgements are never left behind is because insecurities are never left behind. Everyone gets hurt, we try let go but I don’t think we ever really do and then we hold into it, hold onto the stigmas and insecurities and they become the base line to new friendships and relationships. But here is the problem, how will you ever be happier than before when you are trying to control your new relationships based on old mistakes? How can you have fun with someone new when you are holding onto something old? Basically you will find people who act the same as you and you will share the same feelings about old insecurities and you will be stuck in high school, or wherever this bad memory came from, until you learn to let go.
I like to be able to wake up and chill or go on an adventure. I want to be able to say yes to things I want to do without hesitation or worrying about who will react how. Living based on other people’s worries will just entrap you behind a brick wall of other people’s B.S.
I want to he surrounded by people who understand and when they don’t they talk to you instead of behind your back. I never want to look at a friend and see their judgement not only on their faces but on the faces of other people. I want friends that will make me smile when I am raging, who will pour me a glass of wine or play me a really awesome song, who will let me light their smoke and not complain when I keep it a little while too long, who will conspire evil plans with me and how we will get away with it and who will let me hate on people just because I feel like it no matter how unreasonable it is because they know deep down inside I know how silly I am being and I’m someone they know and love.
It’s always refreshing meeting someone who understands, who tells you that you are beautiful and awesome and special and that they appreciate you because so many people are selfish, they will see bad things in you that don’t exist because they are feeling bad about a situation. They know that without the dumb things you do you wouldn’t be the person they know and love.
In the end though you will probably never be surrounded only or consistently by people like this but when you find people like this hold on tight.